What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
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Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
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I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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