You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
