My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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