okay pat passed out under dana's car
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He passed out mid-signature
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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