So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ugly people sure do ruin things
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
