I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
