Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
