I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
