This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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