The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
