woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
