Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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