I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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