i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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