My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize