i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
