seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
