I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
