but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize