so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I would ride that face into the sunset
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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