are you still at the devil's house?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it's like iHOP with fire
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
