If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize