I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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