one two three fourrrrnication!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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