It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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