Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
