as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
