Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
