I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
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We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?