So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass