is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize