Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize