I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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