Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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