he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
