Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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