i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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