I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize