No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
