it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
