I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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