They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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