I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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