woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
