Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
