The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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