Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
