Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There r osticjed everywhere
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize