yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
