david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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