fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
