It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he was CRYING into my vagina
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
