Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
