ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
