I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
