There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
