Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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