I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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