Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
