never play flip cup with pint glasses
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
