You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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