I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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